Hilarious and Helpful Lessons from Ellie & Joel in The Last of Us
If life suddenly flips upside down—and you find yourself dodging infected cannibals—your weekend camping trip skills probably won’t do the trick. But if we listen to the bright, witty survival tactics from Ellie and Joel in HBO’s hit series “The Last of Us,” we just might stand a chance. In fact, we might even thrive—at least as long as our peanut butter supply holds out. So strap in, scavengers, because here’s your ultimate (and slightly tongue-in-cheek) survival guide, straight from the chaotic, clicker-ridden streets of a post-apocalyptic wasteland.
Backpack Essentials: Or, Why Ellie Might Be Smarter Than All of Us
Packing can be a drag, but choosing what goes into your survival backpack is serious business. Just ask Ellie, who understands that surviving relies on more than brute force—it’s about clever packing skills. No one wants their backpack to weigh as much as an angry clicker, so choose wisely. Here’s what matters:
- Flashlight and Batteries: Darkness is downright scary. Ellie knows this, which explains why she’s often gripping a flashlight like her life depends on it—probably because it does. Batteries don’t grow on trees, obviously, so stashing some extras is always wise. Better yet, grab rechargeable batteries and a portable solar-powered charger. Bam! Infinite flashlight power (sun permitting, of course).
- Peanut Butter (You Heard Right): Ellie values peanut butter like gold bars. Honestly, we can’t blame her—protein-heavy, tasty, and calorie-packed. If you’re scavenging through abandoned buildings or running from infected, this tasty spread is your best buddy. Bonus points if it doesn’t expire because apocalypse mornings are already rough without stomach aches.
- Emergency Radio: Civilization may have collapsed, but humans still chatter endlessly on the airwaves. A decent solar or crank-powered radio can give you vital intel about safe zones and imminent dangers like incoming storms or roaming infected hordes. Just think: old-school tech suddenly becomes cool again.
- Multi-Tool & (Yes!) Duct Tape: Joel’s survival toolkit proves something critical: a reliable multi-tool and a good roll of duct tape can basically fix everything—gear, weapons, or even your morale. Duct tape especially—trust Joel, when he says you simply can’t live without it. Broken weapon? Duct tape it. Hole in your shoe? Duct tape again. Emotional trauma? Maybe try peanut butter instead.
- First Aid Kit: Small cuts become major problems if unchecked. Pack up antiseptic wipes, bandages, painkillers, and personal meds because emergency rooms aren’t exactly open anymore. Plus, nothing ruins scavenging adventures like untreated infections.
- Water Filtration System: Water is life, but clean water in the apocalypse? That’s luxury. Portable filtration devices like LifeStraws can turn questionable-looking puddles into safe hydration stations. Perfect for emergencies where your only other option is drinking from a suspiciously murky stream.
- Emergency Blanket: Hypothermia isn’t fun—ask Joel. Compact and effective emergency blankets trap body heat better than clickers trap terrified survivors. Keep one handy, because weather is rarely kind nowadays.
Obviously, survival involves sacrificing comfort—but it doesn’t mean living completely miserably. Be realistic, pack smart, and never underestimate taste or backups.
What To Do When Clickers Find You (Besides Panic)
You hear that bone-chilling clicking sound—you know you’re in trouble. But here’s the thing about clickers: while horrifying, they’re not unbeatable. Ellie and Joel taught us that keeping a cool head and remembering these tips can be the difference between life and becoming clicker-food:
- Stay Silent… Seriously Silent: The bad news: clickers are creepily effective at echolocation. The good news: they’re completely blind. This means staying quiet—and impossibly still—can buy you precious seconds to lower your heart rate and plan your move.
- The Throw-and-Go Trick: Clickers respond relentlessly to sound. Grab nearby bricks or bottles and chuck them far away from your escape route. This diversion method feels almost unfairly simple, but it saves your life when sneaking becomes impossible.
- Avoid Direct Outbursts (Unless Prepared): Head-on combat against clickers usually ends badly, unless you’re Joel with an arsenal stuffed in your backpack. These things don’t waste time before lunging at throats. If cornered, aim for the head—forceful swings with axes, melee weapons, shotgun blasts—whatever packs enough punch to take them down quickly. If you hesitate, you’re toast. Possibly peanut butter-flavored toast.
Mastering The Art of Scavenging: Joel-Approved Survival Skills
Scavenging isn’t for amateurs—but hey, everyone starts somewhere. What Joel and Ellie taught us about looting essential items could fill a textbook. Just kidding—because books don’t exactly help when you’re out running for your life. Here’s the crash course instead:
- Patience, My Friend: Sure, adrenaline rushes are powerful, but so are overlooked supply caches. Search thoroughly—don’t skip drawers, cabinets, or locked rooms. Ellie often discovers essential ammo, rations, or notes by checking unexpected spots. Take her advice: open every door (carefully, though… this world’s scary).
- Prioritize (Consumable) Needs vs. Wants: Ellie learned early—food, medicine, ammo, and water outrank shiny decorative swords or funny hats any day. Backpack space disappears quickly—so when scavenging abandoned homes or storefronts, always prioritize survival basics first. Food beats fancy, every time.
- Craftiness Saves Lives: Joel’s tool-crafting skills are legendary. Items like makeshift shivs from loose blades or modified melee tools not only extend your lifespan—they grant you some impeccable street-cred, apocalypse-style. Take the time to combine raw materials into practical, life-saving solutions.
- Stay Aware and Alert: It’s tempting to rush through scavenging—a sense of safety can lure you into false confidence. But always inspect surroundings and think strategically. Situational awareness matters more than any gear—it keeps you one step ahead of potential ambushes or wandering infected.
- Deconstruct Clues from Other Survivors: In abandoned places, sometimes you find survivor notes or hastily scribbled instructions from less-lucky predecessors. Such discoveries are golden—they often warn you about hidden booby traps or indicate hidden supply caches. Read, listen, and learn from others’ pitfalls. Free survival info, no subscription needed!
Peanut Butter, Batteries and Courage: Your New Apocalypse Motto?
Making it through the infected wastelands isn’t easy—but if Ellie and Joel prove anything, sheer stubbornness (and careful packing) make all the difference. Keep your backpack well-stocked, your senses sharp, and your running shoes tied tight. Adaptability trumps strength every time behind enemy lines—and that’s something our favorite apocalypse duo knows well.
So grab your peanut butter, clutch your precious batteries closely, and practice your stealth walk. Surviving the post-apocalyptic landscape can be downright doable—and dare we say enjoyable—when paired with a practical (yet creatively chaotic) mindset inspired by “The Last of Us.”
Who knows? Maybe one day people will tell legends about your amazing scavenging adventures and unparalleled clicker-escaping skills. Or maybe they’ll just envy your endless supply of peanut butter. Either way, stay witty, stay alert, and most importantly—don’t forget your duct tape!
